In 1986, NFL legend Brian “The Boz” Bosworth told Sports Illustrated that he’d worked a summer job at an Oklahoma City GM plant and that he’d purposely sabotaged the cars that he helped to manufacture by adding concealed bolts marked with chiding messages to the 1985 line of Celebrity and Century model cars. The idea was that the bolts would rattle around annoyingly until the owner pulled the car apart.
Today, we put the following question to you, gentle reader: If Bosworth, repentant for his malarkey, decided to buy back every 1985 Chevy Celebrity four-door sedan that he had a hand in ruining, how many could he afford at their current J.D. Power average retail value of $1,275 given his estimated net worth in 2023?
Well friends, given that Bosworth is currently valued at about $8 million by Celebrity Net Worth, he could, theoretically, buy 6,274 Chevy Celebrities from 1985. This would leave him with just about $600 leftover – likely from what was, at the time, a record-breaking rookie contract signed in 1987, when he joined the Seattle Seahawks for $11 million over a 10-year period. It’s also possible that some of the money would have come from the insurance payout of $7 million that he received after a career-ending shoulder injury during his second season, or from the paychecks he received for appearing in the Fansville series of episodic Dr. Pepper commercials since 2018, and in Hollywood blockbusters like Three Kings, The Longest Yard, and What Men Want.
In the end, perhaps it’s best that Bosworth doesn’t buy more than 6,000 Chevy Celebrities from almost 40 years ago, even if his net worth would technically allow him to do so. According to his public speaking profile, he currently lives in Austin, Texas, where registration renewal alone would set him back at least $489,000 a year.
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