The Dangers in My Heart – 18 – Up to This

Just like that it’s the end of a term, and the teacher is asking Ichikawa to deliver a graduation speech for the departing students. Buoyed by Yamada’s approving looks he agrees to do a rehearsal, but he’s so nervous he speaks in a voice so small no one can hear. Now that he’s seen Yamada working hard with her modeling work, she wants to see him working hard.

He can do this, and she’ll support him all the way; she takes voice lessons, after all. Their moment is spoiled by the pickup artist walking into the gym and rejecting the confession of Mita, the girl he’s been stringing along. He tells her there’s someone else he really likes, and Mita knows he’s talking about Yamada.

Ichikawa decides right then and there that he’s going to stand proud and let Yamada see him make that speech in front of the whole school. He practices in front of his mom, and tries to recall his “old self” who was so confident (and arrogant) on the stage. He even gets a slick new haircut, though its full effect wears off after just one day without product added.

The day of graduation, Serina borrows gel from another boy and tries out some styles on Ichikawa, showing off her passion for hairstyling. I liked the bike gang look, personally!

While the other girls are focused on Ichikawa, Chihiro stares off into the distance, realizing that they may get split up in Year 3. Yamada sees the panic in Ichikawa’s eyes and leans over him, but he tells her they’ll be fine. He doesn’t know how yet, but it doesn’t hurt to believe.

Unfortunately, at some point during his morning routine Ichikawa switched out his speech script with his hair salon notes. He calls Kana, who is on the case. Even when she gets lost, she happens to encounter her co-worker who knows the way.

Ichikawa doesn’t tell Yamada that he doesn’t have his speech, and doesn’t want to hear that he can do this, but that’s not what she softly, gently says into his ear. Instead, she simply says “It’ll be alright.” She then hands him her dog keychain for good luck.

As zero hour arrives and Kana still isn’t there, Ichikawa dreads going up on stage and suddenly acting like a chuunibyou with an arm outside his control. When his tearful teacher spots him, he shuffles him onto the stage early.

That’s when Cooltarou appears before him, assuring him Yamada and his teacher wouldn’t cheer him on if he wasn’t up to this. Not only that, but the person who trusts and likes him most of all isn’t his teacher, or his sister, or even Yamada, it’s him. This is to say, Ichikawa Kyoutarou likes himself. He just had to be reminded of that.

He proceeds to speak loudly, clearly, and confidently on the stage, as Yamada, Kana, Hara, Moeko and Serina watch in rapt awe and pride. Even when he runs out of the speech he memorized, he gives Yamada a nod and he keeps going, drawing from his extensive manga consumption to deliver one hell of an inspirational capper to the speech.

He tells those who are graduating that they must take those scary steps forward themselves, not run away, for they’ve already seen the light in their friends, family, and teachers. He tells them to try new things, learn to love themselves, and treasure all they have come to know. As Moeko says, it sounds as much like he’s graduating as the third years.

The energy he exerts also results in him passing out bakstage shortly after completing the speech, which gets thunderous applause. He comes to in the nurse’s office where Yamada is by his side. They’re interrupted by the pickup artist, who asks to talk to Yamada. Ichikawa tosses her back her dog keychain (which worked for him) and says he’s going to sleep some.

The pickup artist is fine just saying what he needs to say right there. As Mita and Moeko listen in from the hall, he says he likes Yamada. He prefaces this confession with some legitimate explanations that go beyond just thinking she’s cute; clearly he’s been watching her and knows more about her than most.

He’s happy she noticed he still likes soccer, and also happy to see her working so hard and finding success. But most importantly, he likes her, and wants her to have his graduation button. Obviously, she can’t accept it. As her eyes fill with tears, she declares she likes someone else, and clutching the keychain, says her “hands are full”, and she “can’t hold anything else.”

When Ichikawa hears Yamada say these words, he remembers other moments with her and comes to the realization that she likes him, leading to the reveal of the episode’s title, “Yamada Likes Me.” Firmly rejected, the pickup artist tries telling her that Ichikawa gave him her contact info, but Yamada doesn’t buy it for a second.

Not ten seconds after pickup artist leaves, Ichikawa and Yamada also leave, mere seconds apart, and walk away in opposite directions. Ichikawa is blushing heavily, while Yamada’s face is a strawberry with spiraled eyes.

But what’s been said can’t be un-said, and now Ichikawa and Yamada find themselves in new territory. Things are about to heat up, so here’s hoping they can stay in the kitchen. They just need to remember their own advice: It will be alright.

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