Mizunokouji Asuka’s parents deserve jail time for the abject neglect they’ve subjected to their daughter Asuka. At the same time, Asuka has quickly risen to become one of my favorite Urusei Yatsura characters. That’s simply because she’s such a chaotic force of nature, even more so than anyone else, due to her superhuman strength and obsession with her “Big Brothers.”
Because she fundamentally misunderstands what “big brother” is, she believes it’s okay to bathe and sleep with Ton. When his nose spurts two-thirds of his blood, her solution is to embrace him so tightly she crushes his ribs. Eventually their mother realizes that it’s not Ton luring Asuka to his bed, but Asuka inviting herself.
Deciding that now is the time for her to meet other men unrelated by blood, she sends Asuka on an errand to deliver a letter to Shuu at his school. This goes about as well as you’d expect, as every time the fully-armored (though in a smaller suit than her first appearance) Asuka encounters a man she lashes out and causes generous amounts of collateral damage.
When she ends up in Ryuu’s lap, she assumes she’s a man like most people, but Ryuu isn’t about to let her get away with misgendering her. Ryuu chases her around the school until Asuka ends up in a tree, where her mother and Ton urge her to try to open up to the strange man who “seems different.” But once Ryuu watches Asuka snap a medium-sized tree like a toothpick, she ends up running from Asuka.
The bit is completed when Asuka finally lays her head on Ryuu’s chest, but when she notices that Ryuu’s chest is bound, she doesn’t realize she’s a woman, but another big brother, like the similarly bandaged Ton. Asuka is so sheltered she has no idea what anything is. On the one hand, this is deeply tragic. On the other, it’s freakin’ hilarious.
Asuka’s mother isn’t about to keep letting Asuka get away with glomming onto her blood brother, so she beseeches Shuu to go on a date with her. Ataru happens to be there too, but not because he invited himself: Ryouko invited him, because she’s just as obsessed with her brother as Asuka is with hers, and won’t allow him to date or marry the likes of Asuka.
Nevertheless, Asuka arrives in a grand procession led by her mother, and is dolled up in traditional garb very similar to FFX’s Yuna. Shuu is initially excited to go on a date with such a cutie, but when she charges at him like a locomotive, his survival instinct causes him to dodge her, and she shatters a giant stone piece of decorative Mendou art instead.
Since Asuka has absolutely no concept of letting off the accelerator or lessoning the force with which she does things, Shuu is in for a world of pain. But he won’t be alone. Ryouko is watching nearby, Ataru has disguised himself as one of Ryouko’s bodyguards, and Lum has disguised herself as one of Asuka’s bodyguards (the ladies in safari garb). I’m greatly looking forward to a chaotic, action-packed date!
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