{"id":148263,"date":"2024-09-04T14:35:40","date_gmt":"2024-09-04T13:35:40","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.ruthcrilly.co.uk\/?p=48068"},"modified":"2024-09-04T14:35:40","modified_gmt":"2024-09-04T13:35:40","slug":"how-not-to-be-a-supermodel-exclusive-extract","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/gamefootballmobileanimeiphone.com\/index.php\/2024\/09\/04\/how-not-to-be-a-supermodel-exclusive-extract\/","title":{"rendered":"How Not To Be A Supermodel: Exclusive Extract"},"content":{"rendered":"

Here\u2019s an extract from my book, How Not to be a Supermodel<\/a><\/strong><\/em>. It\u2019s taken from a chapter about model castings and the physical\/sporting skills I lied about having in order to try and bag some work. Could I play the drums, for example? Sure:<\/p>\n

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Was I a pro-level ice-skater? Er,\u00a0yes<\/em>:<\/p>\n

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They were necessary little white lies, by the way, because I was in possession of virtually no physical skills whatsoever – I couldn\u2019t jet-ski or surf, ride horses or even swim underwater – and had I not gone down the \u201cfake it until you make it\u201d route I\u2019d have ruled out half of my job prospects.<\/p>\n

BUY YOUR COPY HERE<\/a><\/p>\n

In this chapter I end up in some compromising – yet strangely zen – positions and completely lose any shred of dignity I thought I had.<\/p>\n

And so, without further ado: an extract (abridged) from\u00a0How Not to be a Supermodel<\/em>.<\/p>\n

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Chapter 19,\u00a0Our Experienced Yogi<\/em>.<\/h2>\n

When it came to model castings, I was happy to give almost anything a go in the name of a hefty paycheque. There were plenty of skills that were in high demand, usually ones I didn\u2019t possess. Not that it mattered, apparently.<\/p>\n

\u2018Babe,\u2019 my agent, Texana, would say, \u2018can you ski? It\u2019s for Breitling watches and you need to be able to slalom down into shot.\u2019<\/p>\n

\u2018I\u2019ve never skied,\u2019 I said, \u2018no.\u2019<\/p>\n

\u2018Never?\u2019<\/p>\n

\u2018No.\u2019<\/p>\n

\u2018Babe, anyone can ski. Just tell them you used to ski as a kid, you\u2019ll be fine.\u2019<\/p>\n

\u2018OK but when I get the job, surely I\u2019ll then have to actually ski?\u2019<\/p>\n

\u2018We\u2019ll deal with that if it comes to it.\u2019<\/p>\n

Or,<\/p>\n

\u2018Hi darling,\u2019 my other agent would say, \u2018can you drive a scooter? . . .OK, but if push came to shove?\u2019<\/p>\n

The worst \u2018sporting pretender\u2019 casting I did was one for a newly launched women\u2019s sportswear brand and their range of yoga garments. And the fault, this time, was entirely with me.<\/p>\n

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\u2018Babe, do you do yoga?\u2019 Texana asked when I phoned to check in for the next day\u2019s appointments.<\/p>\n

\u2018Nope, but my mum teaches it.\u2019<\/p>\n

There was a pause.<\/p>\n

\u2018OK babe, but . . . do\u00a0you\u00a0<\/em>do yoga? It\u2019s just that for this casting, you\u2019ll have to go through a series of poses so you kind of need to know the lingo.\u2019<\/p>\n

\u2018Yeah, I can do the positions,\u2019 I said, \u2018the stretching up and the crossed legs. I can probably still do a headstand.\u2019<\/p>\n

\u2018Right . . .\u2019 said Texana. \u2018I just . . . I\u2019m wary of having a repeat of the beer commercial situation.\u2019<\/p>\n

\u2018Where I did the Karate Kid moves?\u2019<\/p>\n

\u2018Oh my God, babe, what the hell. They said it was like watching someone drop acid and then try to fight themselves in a hall of mirrors.\u2019<\/p>\n

\u2018Huh,\u2019 I said. \u2018I\u2019ll make sure I practise some yoga positions then.\u2019<\/p>\n

\u2018Poses, my babe,\u2019 said Texana. \u2018They\u2019re called poses.\u2019<\/p>\n

\u2018Fear not,\u2019 I said. \u2018I\u2019m limbering up as we speak. Going in for the warrior dog and the downward spiral.\u2019<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

The yoga casting took place in a dance studio, beautifully bright with sunshine streaming in through two full-length windows, reflected from a wall of mirrors onto the wooden floor. The clients, three friendly women in their thirties or perhaps forties were seated behind a table that was piled with model portfolios. They looked very serene, hair loosely pulled into ballerina buns or flowing onto shoulders, all of them clothed in the sort of soft fabrics and gentle colours that make your own clothes look as though they\u2019ve been stolen from an eighteenth-century vampire.<\/p>\n

\u2018Lovely to meet you, Ruth,\u2019 the first client said. \u2018We\u2019ve been desperate to book you for a campaign so it\u2019s brilliant that this yoga range could be a good fit. You\u2019ve got exactly the look that we want.\u2019<\/p>\n

\u2018We\u2019ll start with the warrior pose,\u2019 said client number two, putting on some spa music.<\/p>\n

Warrior pose? What an earth was this? Couldn\u2019t they just see me in the leggings and crop top and be satisfied with that? Surely on the shoot day someone could just arrange my legs and arms?<\/p>\n

\u2018It\u2019s important for us,\u2019 said client number three, \u2018that whoever we use genuinely practises yoga.\u2019<\/p>\n

Oh.<\/p>\n

\u2018We really want the campaign to feel authentic and for the images to call out to our customers \u2013 we\u2019re not just a brand using models who look good in our clothes, we\u2019re a brand using models who will wear our clothing in real life. Actual sportswomen, athletes, mountaineers, and you, hopefully, as our experienced yogi.\u2019<\/p>\n

Wait. What?<\/p>\n

\u2018Yogi?\u2019<\/p>\n

\u2018Let\u2019s get started and see how the samples look,\u2019 said client two. \u2018I can\u2019t wait to try the taupe harem pants on you.\u2019<\/p>\n

For warrior, I pretended to hold a spear in one hand and put the other on my hip. In fairness, it wasn\u2019t a million miles away from the correct pose: I\u2019d put my legs in a strong, wide-apart stance that looked relatively convincing, actually. Bending forward pose was pretty self-explanatory and, miraculously, I actually knew the bridge. It was when the other poses, the more abstract names, came along that the shit really hit the proverbial fan. Who would ever have thought that \u2018mountain pose\u2019 would be \u2018standing up straight\u2019? What mountain is tall and thin and not large and round, like a boulder? Which would obviously make more sense, explaining completely why a person would think that they should turn themselves into a big ball, hugging their knees and tucking their head between their legs . . .<\/p>\n

\u2018OK,\u2019 said client two, with just the slightest tremor of confusion in her voice, \u2018let\u2019s move on to the downward- facing dog.\u2019<\/p>\n

I mean, how would a dog face downwards? Isn\u2019t it already mostly down-facing, due to the fact that it walks on four legs?<\/p>\n

\u2018That\u2019s more the cow pose,\u2019 said client one, \u2018but with four straight legs. I\u2019m not sure I\u2019ve ever seen it like that but OK. Let\u2019s now move into the child\u2019s pose.\u2019<\/p>\n

Well. Even under such intense pressure my mind was spraying out ideas left right and centre, God bless it. It had sensed extreme career danger and had risen to the occasion, providing pose solutions to each and every prompt with only ever a second or two\u2019s hesitation. It was as though I was on a weird version of Charades\u00a0Mastermind<\/em>, in which the presenter called out a random word and I had to work out which action might possibly \u2013 as in, a one in a thousand chance \u2013 be the correct match.<\/p>\n

Never had my mind and body had to work so hard as one. And now, after the cow and the downward dog and a mountain pose and a boat pose (which I had been pretty pleased with, seeing as though I\u2019d managed to use my arms as oars\u00a0and\u00a0<\/em>one leg as a mast) I had one last challenge. The child\u2019s pose.<\/p>\n

ORDER YOUR COPY<\/a><\/p>\n

\u2018Do . . . you need any help?\u2019 asked client three, as I stood quietly upon the mat, eyes closed, breathing in through my nose and out through my mouth. Buying time.<\/p>\n

\u2018No,\u2019 I said, eyes still closed, hands over my ears, because it just felt right, \u2018I\u2019m fine thanks, I\u2019m doing some breathwork before I do the next position.\u2019<\/p>\n

What poses did children do? There was the foetal sleeping position, which didn\u2019t seem stretchy enough to be a yoga pose and so was my least favoured option, and then I had thought about skipping. But you couldn\u2019t hold a skipping pose, or skip in slow motion, unless you wanted to look like a complete fruitcake, so that one wasn\u2019t likely either. Children liked to climb trees, but I\u2019d done the tree pose with my branches stretched out and my toes wriggling into the floor like roots (nice touch!) and so what were the chances they\u2019d get me to repeat myself? No, it would have to be my fourth choice and I was pretty confident about it because so far, they hadn\u2019t asked me for either of my solid, tried-and-tested yoga moves. And I wasn\u2019t mad keen on doing a headstand in front of them, and so I dropped down into the most childish pose of all, the position that all under-tens must adopt for hours in the schooling week, in a hall stinking of boiled vegetables: sitting cross-legged.<\/p>\n

\u2018Er,\u2019 said client one.<\/p>\n

\u2018Uhm,\u2019 said number two.<\/p>\n

\u2018I\u2019m not sure that\u2019s quite the one we\u2019re after,\u2019 said client three, as I clumsily rose to standing position, or \u2018normal pose\u2019.<\/p>\n

\u2018It\u2019s alright,\u2019 I said, \u2018I know that my type of yoga\u2019s not for everyone.\u2019<\/p>\n

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How Not to be a Supermodel\u00a0<\/strong><\/em>is available in hardback, ebook and audiobook\u00a0here<\/a>. If you\u2019re not in the UK, please note that Waterstones deliver worldwide. At time of writing there are a limited number of signed first editions available at Toppings\u00a0here<\/a>.<\/strong><\/h5>\n
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The post How Not To Be A Supermodel: Exclusive Extract<\/a> appeared first on Ruth Crilly<\/a>.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Here\u2019s an extract from my book, How Not to be a Supermodel. It\u2019s taken from a chapter about model castings and the physical\/sporting skills I lied about having in order to try and bag some work. Could I play the drums, for example? Sure: Was I a pro-level ice-skater? Er,\u00a0yes: They were necessary little white [\u2026]<\/p>\n

The post How Not To Be A Supermodel: Exclusive Extract<\/a> appeared first on Ruth Crilly<\/a>.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":425,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"site-container-style":"default","site-container-layout":"default","site-sidebar-layout":"default","disable-article-header":"default","disable-site-header":"default","disable-site-footer":"default","disable-content-area-spacing":"default","footnotes":""},"categories":[4400],"tags":[61,4425,122,127,129,124,128,125,132,131,133,126,130,123,66,94,88,97,56,64,65,60,4423,112,4406,4420,4407,4409,4412,4408,4418,40,75,95,104,4236,33,120,4419,4422,4410,105,101,98,115,30,35014,29,41,86,70,69,68,72,71,26,118,108,4427,4403,87,46,55,48,52,54,51,50,83,4413,62,58,57,4417,109,35,59,63,4421,4416,4411,4415,4428,85,79,82,96,80,4431,27,81,114,44,42,43,45,38,39,4429,4424,4426,110,117,100,111,116,73,89,90,92,91,93,84,78,37,102,34,36,77,4404,67,74,4430,99,113,119,28,121,4414,4405,32,47,49,53,103,31,76],"class_list":["post-148263","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-beauty","tag-airpods","tag-all-beauty","tag-anime","tag-anime-characters","tag-anime-cosplay","tag-anime-edits","tag-anime-merchandise","tag-anime-movies","tag-anime-news","tag-anime-recommendations","tag-anime-reviews","tag-anime-series","tag-anime-streaming","tag-animes","tag-app-store","tag-app-store-samsung","tag-appgallery","tag-appgallery-oneplus","tag-apple","tag-apple-music","tag-apple-tv","tag-apple-watch","tag-barbie-makeup","tag-bbc-sport","tag-beauty","tag-beauty-plus","tag-beauty-salon","tag-beauty-sleep","tag-beauty-supply","tag-beauty-tips","tag-beautyblender","tag-best-mobile-games","tag-bixby","tag-bixby-xiaomi","tag-champions-league","tag-cosmetics","tag-cyberpunk","tag-cyberpunk-2077","tag-euphoria-makeup","tag-eyebrow-shaping","tag-eyelashes-extensions","tag-fantasy-football","tag-fifa","tag-football","tag-formula-1","tag-fortnite","tag-free-book-extract","tag-free-fire","tag-free-mobile-games","tag-freebuds-pro","tag-galaxy-a52","tag-galaxy-note-20","tag-galaxy-s21","tag-galaxy-watch-4","tag-galaxy-z-fold-3","tag-game","tag-games","tag-golf","tag-hair-stores","tag-hair-styling","tag-harmonyos","tag-how-to-backup-iphone","tag-how-to-factory-reset-iphone","tag-how-to-reset-iphone","tag-how-to-restore-iphone","tag-how-to-unlock-iphone","tag-how-to-unlock-iphone-5","tag-how-to-unlock-iphone-6","tag-huawei","tag-hudabeauty","tag-ios","tag-ipad","tag-iphone","tag-korean-makeup","tag-live-soccer","tag-lol","tag-macbook","tag-macos","tag-makeup-bags","tag-makeup-box","tag-makeup-kits","tag-makeup-sets","tag-manicure-pedicure","tag-mate-40-pro","tag-mi-11-lite","tag-mi-home-security-camera-basic-1080p","tag-mi-home-security-camera-basic-1080p-huawei","tag-mi-smart-band-6","tag-michelle-phan","tag-minecraft","tag-miui","tag-mlb-scores","tag-mobile-game-design","tag-mobile-game-development","tag-mobile-game-marketing","tag-mobile-game-monetization","tag-mobile-games","tag-mobile-gaming","tag-nail-color","tag-natural-beauty","tag-natural-makeup","tag-nba-scores","tag-nba-standings","tag-nfl","tag-nfl-scores","tag-nhl-scores","tag-one-ui","tag-oneplus","tag-oneplus-9-pro","tag-oneplus-buds-pro","tag-oneplus-nord-ce-5g","tag-oxygenos","tag-p40-pro-plus","tag-poco-x3-pro","tag-pokemon","tag-premier-league","tag-pubg","tag-pubg-mobile","tag-redmi-note-10-pro","tag-sallys-beauty","tag-samsung","tag-samsung-pay","tag-seint-makeup","tag-soccer","tag-sports","tag-steam","tag-steeam","tag-top-10-anime","tag-ulta-coupon","tag-ultabeauty","tag-valorant","tag-when-do-the-iphone-7-come-out","tag-when-does-the-iphone-7-come-out","tag-when-is-the-iphone-7-coming-out","tag-world-cup","tag-xbox-series-x","tag-xiaomi"],"aioseo_notices":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/gamefootballmobileanimeiphone.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/148263","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/gamefootballmobileanimeiphone.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/gamefootballmobileanimeiphone.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/gamefootballmobileanimeiphone.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/425"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/gamefootballmobileanimeiphone.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=148263"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/gamefootballmobileanimeiphone.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/148263\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":148283,"href":"https:\/\/gamefootballmobileanimeiphone.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/148263\/revisions\/148283"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/gamefootballmobileanimeiphone.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=148263"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\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